I can feel for these people. They are in a real bind. Obesity is on the rise and it causes any number of health problems. It's probably the leading cause of premature death--or if it isn't yet, it will be. Doctors know this and so do us fat patients. So what is there to do?
Most doctors will mention your weight one time and then delicately not bring it up again unless you do. They figure you know what's what and if they nag, you might not come back to see them when you get really sick.
Then there's the other doctors who tell you they can't help you until you lose weight. Even when they mean well, they can do more damage to you than the ones that ignore the issue. My husband TB and I saw a pain management doctor the other day. TB has been out of work since mid September because of intense pain from spinal stenosis. He was referred to this guy by the rheumatologist and we thought TB was going to get an epidural.
But the doctor wouldn't do it. He told TB, "I don't want you to break my table." He said it very matter-of-factly, not contemptuously. Still words like that hurt. So was he supposed to spare our feelings by putting it another way or covering up by saying he wanted TB to try water physical therapy first to see if that helped? I'm not sure. I was very annoyed, though, when I asked if he treated other types of chronic pain and he answered, "Most of my patients are obese, if that's what you're asking me."
It wasn't.
He didn't rule out the epidural entirely. He just wants TB to lose weight first. What he did do, however, was prescribe another medication for pain and physical therapy in water. He recommended that I go along and follow the exercises because it would benefit me too. That stung a bit.
He also recommended we cut out red meat--we don't eat it every week any more so that's not new--and chicken! Chicken too? Apparently yes. We should be loading up on beans, fish oil to make us feel full, and fish. Hmmm.
Should we feel upset with the doctor for refusing to give TB the epidural?
Some years back I went to a doctor because my breasts were so large and heavy I was getting spasms in my neck and back. The doctor said, lose weight and I'll help you.
I was still suffering in 2005 and told my rheumatologist (same one who recommended TB to the pain doctor), telling him what the doctors said previously. He said, "That isn't always possible and this way, you'll get some relief from the pain." He referred me to a surgeon who did the breast reduction and I did feel so much better.
Around this time in 2001, a friend of mine had a bypass surgery so that he could lose weight and have spinal surgery to relieve pain he was in. My friend seemed to be doing okay after the surgery but died suddenly on the day he was supposed to be discharged from the hospital. Would it have been different if the spinal surgeon had operated in spite of my friend's weight? I don't know...and I guess that's why I don't know what to feel about the issue.
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3 comments:
Hmm. I don't think anyone would be too thrilled with what the doctor said to your husband. On the other hand, it's kind of good that he was perfectly clear and honest, even if brutally honest isn't my preference. At least you know what's what and that this guy isn't going to beat around the bush if he has something to tell you. Brutally honest combined with good care is something I can stand, but not if it's combined with poor care!
Its a terrible and chicken and egg situation we find ourselves in.
Most of health problems have been blamed on stress and weight. I am am finding is a stressful business trying to lose the weight.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow. These are some serious thoughts. I totally understand where you're coming from as far as how people treat you. I haven't experienced it first hand because I'm not obese but I have seen it happen many times. It breaks my heart. The best thing in the world are positive words and constant accountability. I'm trying to lose 25lbs because I've let myself go a bit. I have a friend that emails me everyday and asks how I've done with sticking to my eating plan and exercise. My hubby is also following the diet which helps tremendously.
I wish you all the best and pray that you will be able to conquer this. Hang in there. Many ladies I have talked to at Weight Watchers meetings have cured their diabetes by loosing weight. You have to decide how you're gonna get there and then set your mind to do it. You can do it though! You go girl!
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