I want my kids to make healthy choices when they eat. Example: at that buffet yesterday, one of my daughters loaded up her plate with carbs and macaroon cookies. I looked at it and was all set to open my mouth to say: Hey, I thought you wanted to be able to go to the senior prom and weren't you just complaining about how you'll never be thin? You won't get thin eating that stuff but I didn't. It was too critical and too negative for being out in public.
Okay, so what about: It would be better if you had more vegetables and fruits which is what I usually say. Then I get the eyes rolling and the exasperated, "I know, Mom, I'm not stupid!"
Does there come a point where parents can no longer influence what their kids eat? I should have taught my kids good eating habits when they were little. I thought I did but obviously I failed there.
Sometimes I've just flat out said: "You've gotten too much to eat. Stop."
I don't allow junk food in the house. I talk to them about portion sizes and portion control and how hard it is to lose weight, especially when they get to be my age. Already my daughter sees it but still wants the wrong foods. She's 16. I can say no and no and no but eventually she'll move out on her own.
I was talking about eating issues with my stepdaughter who is almost as heavy as me. I am concerned for our grandson because she was giving the baby soda and other treats that will probably led to obesity. She said well, it's genetics in a tone that said, we're doomed, nothing we can do about it.
I mentioned my frustration to someone who said, well, look at you. How do you expect to set a good example? It's like do what I say, not what I do.
Boy that crushed me. It sounds cruel but it's right, isn't it? How can I advise my kids to eat healthy and follow my example when I'm so big?
An after thought: My other idea was lead by example...is that possible? At the buffet, loaded up on vegetables and fruits but how do I know anyone noticed? I don't want to be like a primer:
See what Mommy chose to eat.
Veggies. Veggies. Veggies.
Veggies are good for you.
See Mommy eat veggies.
See Mommy eat fruit.
Fruit. Fruit. Fruit.
Fruits are good for you.
See Mommy eat small portions of scallops.
Small. Small. Small.
Small portions are better for you.
?????
7 comments:
I have three grown sons, for whom I set a good example while they were growing up where eating was concerned. They didn't like what I taught them, but they obeyed me...until they left home. Now, they are all three extremely overweight, while I am still thin. Go figure. You can only do what you can do and then it's up to them. Hang in there.
That's a tough one. As a teenager my mother didn't have much impact on what I ate at all. And I ate lots of junk. She'd tell me to have veggies and I'd turn up my nose. The most she did was be an example of good/balanced eating.
Now that I'm older and trying to lose weight, I'm learning about food on my own. So I think, when it comes to food, people do change when they are ready. Whenever someone would tease what I ate, it only made me want to eat it more.
I took a lot for granted when I was a teen, the fact that I was skinny, so saying that I'd gain weight by eating junk didn't work for me. I also don't think at that age I could have appreciated that poor nutrition led to health problems. To me that was for "old" people to worry about.
Keep being a good example yourself, and over the years your kids will end up following what they saw you do earlier.
I don't think you can tell kids anything. They have to decide for themselves to eat healthier. My cousin was overweight growing up, and was constantly nagged by her mother and grandmother. It never had any effect until one day in her twenties she decided she wanted to lose weight. And she did. She looks great now. But no amount of nagging her would ever get her to stop eating unhealthily until she was ready.
I'm having the same issue over here. I see my daughter has picked up some awful eating habits. It's hard to draw the line. I want to set a good example and she's still young enough to have my ideas enforced, but yet, I also don't want to cause her to obsess about how she looks and what all she eats. It's such a fine line. We just do the best we can. There are no rights and wrongs. Only choices and reactions to the choices. I honestly know where your coming from on this one! You always hit the nail on the head with your entries. Sometimes, I think you pull these out of my own MIND! Go you! *hugs*
Does there come a point where parents can EVER influence what their kids eat??? (sighed the mother of two preschoolers)
I ate very poorly growing up, but my mom was always rail then. Then, she quit smoking and her weight skyrocketed to be more than mine. My mom had been controlling her weight through nicotine and alcohol, and when she gave up those vices she obtained the vice of food.
It's really all about being happy with yourself and think you are worthy enough to take care of yourself properly, but years of training in poor eating habits makes me think I don't have the life skills to choose good foods. I keep telling myself I need a chef who will only cook me good food, but a chef is monetarily out of the question. :)
I too am a Mrs.Spratt. My husband weighs considerably less than me. He hardly has a whole inch to pinch, and it's really just loose skin. When I met him he was so underweight that I was actually worried for him, but as he has aged he has filled in a bit to just look really thin instead of emaciated. I'm pretty sure I'll stay Spratt-ly until something bad happens which forces me to change my habits (and, hopefully I'll get that second chance...).
I think probably it really is helpful for you to nag the kids, but not in the first way you mentioned because it came off as kinda mean. I think it would be fun if you wrote a primer and gave it to your kids to keep under the guise of "you can give this to your kids when you have them" but keep your fingers crossed that your own kids follow the advice, too. :)
Okay, this might sound a bit harsh, but: maybe taking the kids to a buffet is not a good idea... Especially if it's an all-you-can-eat buffet...
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